The Spinster's

I swear I really love 阿信.

I have finally deleted everything. Be it just a few clicks of actions, it took a lot.

Memories were being shared by too many individuals, they disgust me, they don't belong to me. I am so sorry to be so loser-ish.

I saw the TWILIGHT posters outside Lido Shaw House!

*EGGCITED!!!*

it better be good. it better be good. it better be good. please don't spoil the beautiful novel.

Alrighty. Anyway, it has been a crazy day, a crazy bimbotic day. It was Great Eaters Women 1000KG for the dual bimbos, a substitute event if you can't run the 10KM. But, ohwells, we walked quite a fair bit too besides all the eatings. cine>taka>wisma>shawhouse>dfs>fareast>swensens>centrepoint>thecannery>OO>clarkequaymrt
*excessive eatings
*excessive twirling around
rest are merely passing by (っ´__｀)っ
End of the day, I am left with numbed chopsticks-legs and cracked kneecaps!

Anyway, I am going to kiss goodbye to my old levi's jeans (which i look terrible in) and trading it for a new pair... at $50 cheaper. Tomorrow is the last day for this good deal! So, that means, lots of pulling ups and downs, sucking in of tummy, complaints of flat butts, ultimate fricklemindedness, which all equates to PISSING OFF THE SALES PERSON BIG TIME.

*shrugs* I can't help it too.

(just read the promo again, it is trading of old jeans of any brand. time to showcase those pasar malum jeans man. hahahaha~)

(っ´Д｀)っ wuu wuu wuu~

insomnia is sucking my life away...

Money can buy happiness. Plenty of it.

I am dropping out of the chase for intangibles. They get out of hand, too easily. *big boo*

"What the fuck is this?" I swear this thought screamed so loud in my head that my skull cracked.

I stared into the screen in disbelief.

You have no idea how much you had taken away from me. I despise two-face. I despise pretender. I despise outright liar.

I despise myself who can't get over the past.

But you are off limit.

He shone, fame took a part of him away. You took a little-little part of him away. I don't know how. Then, she took a little part of him away. He was shaken. She moved him, she took every part of him away.

(Yes, even if nothing happened, I would still lose him, but...)

These are the only memories I had of 'us'. I can no longer build them, I can no longer recompose them, I can no longer derive any emotions from them... or rather, I am not supposed to. I know my limits.

So, can I, the very least, be allowed to keep these... these very little memories, belonging to me. Mine. That little doodle I did. Little, but it means alot.

Please do not take any part away. It can't be shared.

I am at lost with this very out-of-control emotion. I felt robbed. I felt dug out. I felt pain. I am shaking with fear, dont-know-what-to-do, tears... How did all the crazy crying start again...

http://bot-tledup.blogspot.com/2008/03/gave-everything-away.html

Do you have something that mean so much?

I feel terrible. Terribly sad. Depression is kicking in...

I WANT TO KICK IT BACK! ;___;

Today, I woke up in tears. The only thing I remember from that dream was mouthing helplessly to him, "You think I hasn't tried hard enough?...".

Still the only one who can trigger tears.

The crying following which was horrible. It proves the point that water makes up 70% of human body. I feel so emptied out.

When there is completely zero wishes for anything, why is it still so difficult to 'move on'? Somebody has to enlighten me on this.

I don't understand.

Everyone should love falsies (i mean fake eyelashes here), they make eyes so much visible. I need to reduce the chance of looking ridiculous with 90% of my face covering with baaaaa! (baaaaa = meat in hokkien)

Speaking of falsies, it is quite a misused word. Do check out what is the real falsies. (pun intended) They come in a pair too, and I should embrace them, too! Haha! In any sense, I think IF 'falsies' is the slang for false hope, I am a real falsies-lover.

Everyone lives happier in denial and pretence. I am not 100% pro of the latter though; Putting up a strong front - Yes. To be someone you are not - No. Make effort to forget about old love - Yes. Hooking up with people to forget about old love - No. Change friendster/facebook status for entertainment sake - Yes. Change friendster/facebook status for attention sake - No. yadayadayada... In either way, a reality check will suck you pretty much down to earth, you will weigh 10000kg then.

But still, a small supply of false hope is healthy for The Very Ugly Reality. If you say "No thanks, I don't need!", you are quite an optimist, or rather the King of the land of self-denial. Keep a few dosages of falsies, it may help during emergency of reality check.

(Anyway, I do have fake eyelashes on in the above few pics. The C label foundation featured in the 2nd is some lousyshits. I have no idea if it clogs less pores, gives a matt look or what, but it does almost zero coverage for my zomg-skin. Good for you if you want some natural look *raise right brow*, not for me. Told ya, I am a real falsies-lover. I think I will end up wearing a mask out soon. Hmph!)

They should rewrite definition for "false"; it brings hope. O:)

I have a friend who is happy 'cos she paid $2.10 instead of $3.55.

She is Bimbo J.

HAHAHAHA!!! We love cheap thrills.

p.s. the reaction was kindof classic too. don't bother to imagine, you are no where near. $ﾟ∀ﾟ$

I hate this thing; FATE.

(... sounds a little like fat. Anyway, yesterday, I nonchalantly stepped on this weighing machine... which made me totally uncool after a few seconds. The digits ran really fast and made my eyes popped a little. I swear I really heard the machine screamed "FIFTY TWO POINT EIGHTTTT!!!!" at me. I pushed myself off almost immediately and my expression read; u n b e l i e v a b l e! Bimbo J roared into laughters and hopped like a cute little white rabbit onto the machine. She weighs much lighter. I still could not compose myself, my mind was flooded with mental image of me wolfing down with my double chin wobbling. Feeling so ultimate dejected, I wanted drag myself away but I felt pretty much stucked. Then, something hitted me. MY BAG WAS ON ME!!! I let out a little gasp and threw my bag off, and of cos, jumped onto the idiotic machine! TADA~ I float throughout the day afterwhich. Heh! This is an ultimate bimbotic and aneorexic moment. But you must understand, the weight increase will only mean one thing - my face is expanding its radius, again! I am a complete walking lollipop la. Tsk!)

FATE is a complete delusion! I am such a cow for falling and drawing conclusions from it.

I despise it most when Fate sets someone to cross my path. Because, somehow, with some conspiracy, it never fail to work very well with his accomplice Coincidence.

Some incident would bring me to remember this particular person from the past, then TAAAAAAAH~~~ I bumped into him soon after, at somewhere somehow. This happened 3 times, which and whom I deemed significant.

1st, Orange Daisy (quite a missed friend) came into station platform in the midst of some sabotage-y game, I was greatly amused. Then, I texted him...

2nd, Deep Voice lined up right infront of me in a bus queue, he didn't smell very pleasant, and just when I was about to tsk this stranger, he turned and I smiled. He was my 2nd degree friend. Then, we exchanged a few lines...

3rd, Killer Jaw (someone I went gaga over ever since i met him years ago). And very recently, *insert 3-minutes incident*...

All ended up with a silent answer "I am just crossing your path. So, Hi and Bye!". If such coincidence is thaaaat meaningless, skip that few seconds, I would have missed you then.

So much for being a spinster and a cow, I delude myself too much. Just, don't bother. TSK!