i dont know if it is because...

work has been unfulfilling or
the significant gap i have with working adults or
the whole food poisoning saga or
following which, bad cough and constant flu or
the seemingly meaningless hours from 0900 to 1830 or
the rush for tuition assignment every weekday (except TGIF), or
the weird and stinging pain at elbow or
the snipping of hair which i still cant quite manage or
ohya, my facial cleanser stuffs are finishing too...

im losing grip.

everything seems to be falling apart. being sick makes everything worse. even breathing needs effort.

i think it is really true that you only know what you had/have after you lost it. i was really happy months ago, really quite many months ago. i suddenly got to admit that the random phonecall at one particular night wasnt for nothing, in fact something really did happen, and i had to talk to delude nothing changed. it was long ago. i dont know why, but it was significant, and i appreciated it, alot.

i remember the countless times i messed things up.

im losing everything.

let the sun shines bright tomorrow, at least. -sigh-