The Spinster's

i remember shivering in my blanket, wishing hard that i do not have to... continue doing what i dont like to see myself doing... having all thoughts i dont want to think about. i was really very sick.

passedby old sajc campus. once a saint, always a saint. i miss having classmates. i miss seeing everyone in uniform, and knowing how each and everyone is individually different. i miss having rules, to bind people together. i miss the guitar. i almost thought i saw a figure at the bus stop waiting. 5 years down the road, i guess i will deem all these as childhood... or rather, parts of... growing up.

went vivocity. recalled a video-taking session after 'xue zhuan shi'. habourfront centre is way too familar... the building near... forget it.

i wonder if circle-circle will ever recognise me when she grows up.

shall continue to bite my lips and see time flies. anyway, have been laughing hard with jacelyn these few days:D *man hua tou* is duper funny.

went into some crazy shopping recently. BWAHAHA! -beams-

i shall edit&upload slumber night photos really soon. anyway... sentosa tmr(:

lovelovelove, supermean

i used to think that everyone bound to have a special place in someone's heart. especially when past ocassions spent together were filled with smileys and warmth. perhaps everything ought to be forgotten, so that the heart will not be left empty... or even hurt badly to know your space has been taken, or maybe... it does not even exist in the first place.

it feels terrible to be sick.

weekend had been wasted sleeping plus popping pills. when there are like so much things for me to do.

and i wantttT slumber night photosss. i need to see how i laughed and jumped around that night... without having to tell myself to do so.

dizzy, supermean

i wanted so much to vomit out all i know. so you, you, you and you will know everything isnt anything like what it seems to be. but... maybe things are true now. all that she used to do, how she and her friends used to curse you... dont matter now. it did affect me madly. but it is still better for you to be kept in the dark.

i really dont want to be a sore loser.

-

i used to think that you are my happy thought. but yesterday, today and tomorrow seem disappointing enough. i really dont think i should feel for anything much more.

maybe i should just let myself be taken care of.

saw a cap, a dress, a game and... a baby today. i think i want them all. haha for the baby part. but anyway, the world is coming to an end. haha again.

im going nuts, supermean

i typed a whole lot... and backspace-d the whole lot.

who knows... ive digged, ate and emptied the whole watermelon, just to wear it over my head.

do you scream helplessly that "i am okay", or laugh and say "i am not okay", when you want people to know that you are not okay but treat you as if you are okay.

this is tough. like i dont even know what i am directing at.

(i should sleep)

i feel heavy, supermean

happy lamps are shining bright! :D

(but they need fuels too. and i think... they arent gonna be there for long. all i know is that, i will really miss them when they are gone, with someone they want to shine for.)

^happy people

love, supermean

i know who can make me smile.

that easily(:

freeze the time, supermean

i envy her, her and her.

and thats when i think i really need to grow up, grow out of this cage of mine.

-flip flip flip jap. notes!-

i want to fly away too, supermean

i told people that... i need time for myself. time to spend with myself.

tidy up the mess in my room. wash my clothes. do up my organiser. play my game. finish off the friendship band. practise strokes. revise japanese. buff nails. buy toto/4D.

it has been near half a year. it must have been the 100th night i'd walked home ever since. i hear the loudest thoughts in my mind for every step i take.

a shadow or two. i think i am always alone on that path.

who need memories, when i know i can get forever.

love, supermean

everyone seems to act like ants on hot plate. so much so that i am getting dizzy on ground, in this invisible race.

i feel like turning over and walk on ceiling instead.
of cos, i think i want to pull you along with me. ...but again, this idea and 'me' is too weird for you.

humans tend to think that they have hundred and one years to live.
so, we end up living hundred (%) years in regrets.

no link, no nothing. iiii ammmm fineeee~~~~

fly off, supermean