of cos i did bawl my eyes out yesterday.
i knew it is a cold hard wall yet i still ran myself into it. i know i cant be brought to anywhere else.
i once taught someone that if you feel anger rushing up to you, take a BIIIGGG deep breath in (till you feel your lungs are bursting)... then let it ALL out at one go, till you cant help but to breath normally again... till you cant help but to breath in your next air just to tell the angel next to you, 'thank you for being here with me'.
for me, that was how easy it is to control temper.
but never emotions.
i have burnt myself up. so, no regret.
after all the extreme ways i used to stop myself from flooding my room last night, i began stretching myself. -lol- first mission: touch my toes! it was really terrible. but yea, was truly inspired by Ryan, his words and his round of warmup for lyrical hiphop. RUAN GU GONG, here i come!
and then after all means and methods of tiring myself, i feel so sore all over. (not to mention, loser)
i kindof know the story behind that display pic last night, i sortof know that today is a special date for some people. know know know... all because it hurts badly to know so much, i cant pretend well enough to believe what is, is not.
everything is up on the world wide web.
but from now, i am just gonna close my eyes.
received yet another bottle of angsana seeds. just like roses, it is just a visual therapy, but never fail to work wonders for me.
left it there for quite sometime before i was bored outta wits one day and started pouring that bottle out to count. 100 of them look so little, but i was already wondering how long it took to pick up that amount. continued counting till i nearly hit a thousand.
suddenly, i have so much to say.
but in the end, again, i chose to bot-tledup, the heartshaped seeds and everything else.