i remember telling someone that, "life will be back to normal after today. it doesnt matter if today is worse or better off for you, tomorrow is a brand new one." and i realised how naive i have been, how simple and cheap my thoughts are.
i have been taking things way too easy hur?
indeed, i should never let my mind rest until i made the most situable decision out of the limited options i have. serve me right for all the tiring mess i have created for myself. if only i put in more effort to make sure my grades are just right to get me through this round.
if only, if only, if only. so what, i have failed.
and i am tired of myself. i made excuses, lied, disappointed those who care.
i am such a sick person.
but right now, at least i am sane enough to know i need to do something to ensure my next step is a right one. i just need a little strength.
random stuffs.
-even if that piece of paper is really important, so long it is something you arent proud of, it doesnt matter where you place it and if you are ever going to see it again. i have only seen that paper once, and i think it is enough. call me an escapist.
-thanks for the concern. all really appreciated. you are the one most unexpected and i really feel like crying in your chest for that moment, but i know i cant.
-i may look or sound seriously depressed. but i am alright. i am just so sorry to disappoint.
-when a situation arrived, it forces you to think what you really want. i realise i really want to be an air stewardess... shallow thought... but ya. that is it. the question is, when?
-a message which said, "patpatpatpat, i still love you (:" scared me. my heart dropped and seriously, i thought i had a heart attack. it tightened me so hard that i couldnt breathe, until my eyes moved and saw who the sender was. thanks goodness... it was/wasnt a mistake.
-i love you, like always.